Is there a good ftp sever that lets you know how long it takes to get a file ?

Doesn't matter what the server is, use a decent ftp client and it will give you an estimated time remaining for the file and any other files queued.

I'm using SERV-U now.. but I can't see how long the d/l got !!

Does it make a difference if someones sending it themselve instead of you going on there server ?

Well if you are the one running the server then you aren't downloading, they are uploading.

There should still be some kind of status of time remaining (there is in bpftp), although I guess it wouldn't take into account multiple files in a queue... Should give you an average speed though, so if you know how big a release is you could easily calculate.